Sunday, May 31, 2009

Welcome Baby




Yeah, so maybe we are physically ready now...
Does that help us be mentally ready?

Friday, May 29, 2009

Baby Furniture

We finally have furniture in the nursery!!

Peace,
Billy

Sent via Blackberry

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Who Am I?

Yeah, I can tell B and I are having similar thoughts...

I wrote this a while ago over at Hey Bloghead but it seems to fit here. Especially with the tone of Jared's comment, which is beautiful by the way.

I was reading Exodus last night. Cramming you might say, for our church small group. Every Tuesday night we get together and ask similar questions of one another. Every once in a while, the question comes up, "What have you been studying lately?" and I almost never have an answer! I am a slacker! So I figured I would do some study and actually have an answer.
So I started reading about Moses. I mean this is a big major super hero of the Bible right? He has movies made about him! Although he will never have his picture on the cover of an Entertainment Weekly or a People Magazine, he is pretty famous man.

So imagine my shock when old Mr. Moses, in the midst of talking to God and getting directions, stops and says, "Hey, don't you think you picked the wrong person? Who am I to do this big job? Do you realize how big a job this really is?" And God with infinite wisdom kindly pats him on the back and reassures him. Sort of like, "Dude, I wouldn't have picked you if I didn't think you could do a good job. Duh." Yeah, God talks like that some days, I am sure.

B and I found out in November that we were expecting. Two pregnancy tests and we were pretty sure of the answer. Since then, we have heard the heart beat, watched the baby wave and do back flips. Each time I think about it, I get freaked. There is a baby inside me! Do you know what this means? We are going to have a little human that we are responsible for! A little human to take care of and make sure they learn and grow and become the best person they can be. I am not going to lie about how much that freaks me out! The magnitude of the freak-out is immense! I keep thinking less about the baby part of this and more about the raising a human part. What if I screw up? What if I don't do the right thing? What if I just suck as a mom? It is possible, you know. I am so used to my way of doing things, my quiet time, my schedule. All of that is nul and void very soon. What about that?
I have asked God several times... "Who am I that you gave this baby to? You trust me? Really? Are you crazy?"
And I never really got an answer. Not till I read about Moses. Even Moses got scared. Even Moses was unsure of himself and his role in the world. Even Moses questioned God. And God just politely and kindly said, "You will do fine. Just take it one step at a time, and trust me to do the rest."

Just take it one step at a time and trust Me to do the rest.

My friend Heidi was talking about shopping with her daughters the other day when they saw a friend of theirs with a very little baby. The daughters both, being little girls, ooed and ahed over the baby asking their mother if they could have one. Heidi joked saying, "SHHHH! Not too loud! God will hear you!"

When she told me that story, I realized that God had heard me. God had heard B. God had understood our desire to have a baby. And God believed in both of us. Each time I ask God "Who am I to take care of this little human coming in to the world?" God always says in a kind way, "Just take it one step at a time and trust Me to do the rest."

Who Am I Today?

Some days you feel ready, other days you realize you have absolutely no clue what's about to happen.

Peace,
Billy

Sent via Blackberry

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Baby's First Video

This is unreal. We had a 3D sonogram.

Monday, May 11, 2009

From Mom

This is something my mother wrote to N right after we told them about the baby. Beautiful and inspiring....

Aw sweetie, your going to be a great mom! I bet God was surprised, as am I, that you are in doubt... and is probably still laughing. I cannot think of another person who I would want as the mother of my grandchild. You are sweet, humorous, and so very aware and sensitive to the needs of others. And you had a wonderful, priceless set of parents of your own that set an example. Parenting is a learned experience, and you a B both have always been eager to explore new territories, so this is just another journey in life and you both will conquer it as you have any other. I am so happy for you both and ever so proud of you. You are a wonderful wife that made my son so happy, we can see it in his eyes and in his voice. So I know your baby is going to be much loved and a happy little baby too. I could not ask for more and neither would God. He knew what he was doing.

Ready or Not, Here She Comes!

As strange as this sounds, the imminent birth of our daughter is really starting to seem more real. We have seen her face in a sneak peek of the upcoming 3D sonogram (she looks like N's Dad), N is starting to show (not to mention duck walk a little), and we now have baby stuff laying everywhere. We have begun to get her room ready with some fresh paint, next will come the furniture and decorations. The cat is starting to freak out, although she has no idea why. I know, but I’m not telling her. It’s the only joy I get from having this cat.

I was able to feel the baby really move around the other night. It’s good I’m not the pregnant one. Having something moving around in me would give me the permanent heebie jeebies. I keep seeing that scene in Alien where the thing pops out of the guy’s chest. As painful as that looked, I think I would prefer it to the reality of birth. Ouch, ouch, and holy crap ouch.

Mom and Dad came over to give N a Mother’s Day Present. They went full bore grandparents and brought some serious swag. We now have a fancy new pack and play and a “travel system”. I always thought PnP’s were cool, and they are, just not as easy as I would have thought. Maybe you get good at getting them back into that tiny little sock. Right now it looks like we crammed a body in there, and some of the parts are still on the floor. Now, the travel system is the absolute coolest. If it’s got wheels and buttons, I’m all in. It’s a combination stroller and car seat. It’s like having our own friggin Transformer!! Push this button, it reclines. Pull this lever, it folds into the shape and size of a Rubik’s Cube. Twist this other thingy, machine guns pop out. I want a car like this thing. Makes you feel like 007, especially when you discover it has LATCH. While it is supposed to stand for Lower Anchors and Tethers for Children, I like to think it stands for some kind of secret organization headquartered in a mountain.

We are also starting to collect the required one million onesies. Now I know where retired people get their dog clothes. After the kid gets bigger, we will have to get a poodle to wear this stuff. We have some shoes. Does a baby need shoes? Socks I get, but shoes? Is she going to stroll in from her morning walk one day? And they are so tiny. I think babies have hooves instead of feet. There is no room for a full foot to go in these things.

Ok, peoples, more to come later. This may be the calmest post for a very long time. As the time gets nearer, these posts will show more urgency, excitement, and raw fear.